The Most Random Story Ever Told
by Drake Clawfang
Summary: Some stories have a coherent plot. Some stories have tasteful humor. Some stories keep their casts in character. Some stories make sense. This isn't one of them! Perversion, lack of logic, OOC, new enemies, lack of a fourth wall, and more befall the cast.
1. The Fifth Dragon

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**This takes place after the BRC trilogy. While no references will be made to the BCR trilogy, Drake, Kazuki, and other OC's will appear, and Yami now has his own body, Pegasus is in charge of Industrial Illusions again. Don't ask why, you'll find out in the third story of the BCR trilogy. This story will not have much of a plot, and as such, may go on forever. Any half-assed idea I can think of will be here.**

The Fifth Dragon

Seto Kaiba sat in his chair in his Kaiba Corp office, working furiously to finish his latest project. Leaning back for a break, He got up and locked the doors to his office. Drawing the shades of his window, he opened his desk drawer and pulled out a Leapfrog Learning pad and opened it up.

"Okay you stupid thing, I'll finish you this time." He muttered, flipping to about halfway through. "I don't care if it takes me another four years, I'll read through you!" he said, looking for his page.

"Seto?" said a voice, knocking on the door. Kaiba yelped and rammed the Leapfrog Pad in his desk.

"Yes?" he squeaked. Mokuba's voice answered.

"I think you should turn on the news, you might want to see this." He said. Kaiba nodded and flipped on his TV. Pegasus and Kazuki were standing at a news conference.

"It is truly an honor to merge Industrial Illusions with Konami!" Pegasus said. Kaiba rolled his eyes. Pegasus was wearing a bright red dress.

"To commemorate this event." Kazuki cut in. "A special card will be sold at the Domino Mall today." Kaiba went to turn off the TV and froze as he saw what Kazuki was holding. His jaw dropped.

"Yes folks, you've heard all about it, how only four were ever made. Now you can own your very own Blue Eyes White Dragon, as it will be auctioned off today at the Domino Mall!" Pegasus trilled. Kaiba growled and snatched his phone.

"I want a limo in front of Kaiba Corp RIGHT NOW!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Kaiba walked up to the front of the Domino Mall. Just inside was a large stand, surrounded by armed guards. On the stand was a glass case holding the treasured card.

"Blue Eyes." Kaiba muttered. "I own the only three, there must not be any others!" he slipped through the large crowd that had gathered and looked up at the announcer, Sven.

"Yessir, ladies and gents, this card is only the fifth Blue Eyes White Dragon to ever exist!" he called. The crowd cheered, and Kaiba pulled Sven down by the collar.

"I'll give you five thousand dollars for that card." He hissed at the Konami employee. Sven stood up.

"May I have an opening bid?" he asked.

"One billion dollars!" a voice called. Sven grinned at Kaiba.

"No deal."

"2 billion!"

"2.5!" the bidding continued, and Kaiba pushed his way out of the crowd. He growled and looked around. Several duelists were busy looking at other rare cards on display. He grinned and edged his way to the wall, and placed his hand on the fire alarm. Locking his blue eyes on the…well, on the Blue Eyes, he pulled.

The bells rang, and Sven and the guards gasped. After a crowd wide scream, the duelists started grabbing at the cards on display, and the majority swarmed the stage. Sven rallied the guard, and the Konami/Industrial Illusions employees turned their backs to the card. Kaiba ran behind the stage, and climbed up through the curtain. The Blue Eyes and it's case had been knocked over. Among shards of shattered glass was the precious card, and with the duelists around the stage, Sven didn't notice that Kaiba was there. Kaiba grinned and picked up the card…

…Only to see another hand pick up the card by the other end. Kaiba looked up into the brown eyes of Drake Clawfang. Drake glared.

"Can I help you?" he asked, tugging on the card. Kaiba pulled back.

Yes, you can let go of the card." Drake sneered.

"I got here first, the card's mine." He growled, tugging.

"I'm the Blue Eyes master, it's mine!" Kaiba replied, tugging.

"Gimme!"

"Leggo!"

"Get your spoiled hands of my dragon!" Drake snapped.

"Get your psychotic hands of MY dragon!" Kaiba shot back. The two tugged back and forth, and the card went flying into the air. The two watched as the card flew over the crowd **(ever notice how far you can throw a card in this show?)**, and landed…

…In Joey Wheeler's hair. Kaiba and Drake looked at each other, then at Joey, and pointed at him.

"GET 'IM!" they shouted. The two ran over the sea of duelists, and dove at Joey. Joey looked up from his nachos and screamed as the trenchcoated duelists dove at him, and knocked him over the back of the bench he was on. Drake and Kaiba tried to untangle the card from Joey's hair, throwing clumps of Joey's blonde locks away in the process. Joey yelped and clutched at his rapidly decreasing amount of hair.

"Get offa me!" he shouted. Finally, the Blue Eyes slid across the floor, and Kaiba dove on it.

"I got it!" he squealed. Drake snarled and grabbed Kaiba's ankle, and bit in. Kaiba screamed like a girl and flailed his leg about. Drake wrapped his arms around Kaiba's knee and bit deeper.

"He's biting BONE!" Kaiba howled, kicking Drake in the nose. Drake cried out and got up, grabbing his bloody nose. Kaiba sneered and got to his feet.

"I want that card Kaiba!" Drake said through his hands. Kaiba snorted.

"Over my dead body!"

"That can be arranged." He muttered.

"It's KAIBA!" a girl yelled. Kaiba gasped and paled. The ground started to shake, and Drake growled.

"Earthquake?" he asked. Kaiba whimpered and shook his head.

"Worse." He said, pointing over Drake's shoulder. Drake spun around and gasped, stepping back.

"Oh no…" he whispered in fear. Running across the mall was a horde of teenage girls in shirts that read 'I heart Seto' on the front.

"WE LOVE YOU KAIBA!" they screamed. Drake gulped and started to run away, and Kaiba grabbed his arm.

"Don't leave me with them!" he pleaded. Drake shook his head.

"No way, you're on your own!" he shouted.

"Help me, they're cannibals, they'll eat me alive!" Kaiba said. The horde reached them, and the two screamed as the fangirls knocked them to the ground.

"I got his necklace!" one shouted. Kaiba screamed in horror as they started to rip off his clothes. He looked around.

"Drake, help!" he cried.

"I'm kinda busy." Drake replied. Kaiba looked to his left to see him getting throttled by a particularly rapid fangirl.

"You good for nothing copycat, trying to look like Kaiba! How dare you!" she screamed, choking Drake. Suddenly, a fangirl leapt out of the crowd holding a pair of boxers.

"I got Kaiba's underwear!" she shouted. The other fangirls snapped their heads up and chased her down the mall. In the cloud of dust that resulted, Drake groaned and rubbed his neck.

"Give me that." Kaiba said, pulling off Drake's trenchcoat. Drake frowned and waved the dust away to see the CEO in the black coat.

"Give that back!" he demanded. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He said, opening the coat. Drake squeaked as he saw a strip off bare flesh, and covered his eyes.

"Keep it on, keep it on, KEEP IT ON!" he shouted. Kaiba nodded and pulled the coat shut.

"I lose more clothes that way." He muttered. Drake looked him up and down.

"You know, you look good in black." He said. Kaiba twirled.

"Really? Mokuba said that white really brings out the blue in my eyes." He said. They froze.

"Wait." Drake started.

"Blue."

"Eyes."

"White."

"DRAGON!" they screamed, looking around.

"Where is it?" Drake asked. Kaiba groaned.

"I'm not sure!" he said.

"You had it last, you should know!"

"It's hard to keep track of a card when someone is busy gnawing on my leg!" Kaiba shot back. Drake sneered.

"Don't push me Kaiba." He said. Kaiba snorted.

"And what if I do, you gonna steal my soul again? Oh wait." He picked up Drake's hand waved it in front of his eyes. "You can't anymore!" he crowed. Drake smiled, balled his fist, and punched Kaiba in the nose. Kaiba stumbled back and looked at his bloody nose.

"That make us even." Drake informed him, pointing to his own nose. Kaiba nodded.

"Ok, let's think. We're fangirls. We love anything Kaiba, we have almost no brains, and we're materialistic. What do we do with a copy of Kaiba's favorite card?" he said. Drake snapped his fingers.

"The game shop!" he said. Kaiba clenched his fist.

"There is no way Yami getting his hands on my card!"

"You mean MY card, you stole it!"

"Let's not start this again!"

**I do not mean to insult any Kaiba fangirls out there. This is just Kaiba's personal opinion**


	2. Around the Workplace

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**I lied about the updates. I needed a laugh. Well, got my own computer, and my own internet, so let's get updating!**

Chapter 2

Around the Workplace

"Sven, this auction was a disaster!" Kazuki roared. Sven gulped.

"Yes sir, I'm sorry, but…"

"SORRY? One of the rarest cards in the entire world goes missing, and you're SORRY?" Kazuki shouted. Sven clenched his fist.

"It's not my fault sir, those damned fools Seto Kaiba and Drake Clawfang were there, and…"

"THERE ARE NO EXCUSES!" Kazuki thundered. "GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!" Sven nodded and ran out. on the other side of the door, he punched the wall and cried out in agony.

"I've put my heart and soul into this company, and this is what I get?" he muttered. "I worked around the clock, doing HIS works, while he and that fool Pegasus have fun. How dare he!" Sven snickered and looked back at the door.

"Enjoy this, Kazuki. Once I'm through, Konami will be under MY command!" Sven threw back his head and cackled.

"Mr. Sven?" a voice asked. Sven look down to see the entire Konami office staring at him. Sven smiled.

"Yes?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Alright, now I'll be back in a week." Solomon Muto said, putting on his coat. Yami, Yugi, and Tea were at the counter of the Turtle Game Shop. "Now a few rules. Help the delivery men with my new shipments, don't give out credit, and oh yes." Solomon ran over to the counter and grabbed Yugi and Yami by the collars.

"If I find _anything_ wrong with my shop when I get back, I'll see to it that I never have any _great-_grandsons. Understand?" Yami and Yugi nodded. "Good. See you later." He picked up his suitcase and walked out the door. Yugi sighed in relief.

"Great, a whole week to ourselves." He muttered. Yami nodded.

"Agreed, your grandpa's as bad as slavedriver as any I ever met. What is up with him and sweeping?" he asked. Yugi shrugged.

"I dunno. Why bother sweeping the ground anyway? It's the ground, it's not gonna stay clean for long."

"Excuse me?" a voice said from the front door. The three looked up to see a mail man. "I'm looking for an 'Atemu, Yami'?" Yami nodded.

"That's me." He said. The mailman grinned.

"Good. This is for you." He handed Yami an envelope and walked out. Yami frowned and opened it. He read it over and gasped.

"It can't be!" he cried. Yugi and Tea looked over his shoulder.

"What's up Yami?" Tea asked. Yami gulped.

"I'm being deported!" Yugi and Tea gasped.

"WHAT?" they shouted. Yami slowly nodded.

"According to this, I'm still a citizen of Egypt, and don't have legal permission to live here. I'm to be shipped back to Egypt within a week!" he moaned collapsing on the counter crying. Yugi stroked his back.

"Hey, you've still got a week right? Maybe you can earn your citizenship in that time." He suggested. Tea snapped her fingers.

"That's right, you can go down to city hall and apply right now!" she said joyfully. Yami lifted his head and smiled. Just then, a man with a radio walked through the store.

"And just ten minutes ago, city hall was engulfed in a massive blaze." Said the radio announcer. Yami fell back on the counter and resumed crying. Tea sighed and looked out the back door.

"Well Yugi, there's your grandpa's new order, I'm gonna go give him a hand." She said, slipping out. Yami groaned and sobbed. Yugi scratched his head in thought. Then he decided to scratch his own head instead.

"Cheer up Yami, we'll think of something." He said. Yami shook his head, smearing tears on the counter.

"It's hopeless. There's no other way for me to earn my citizenship. I'm doomed to go back to my homeland. And a few weeks ago, I didn't even know where that was!" he said. Yugi smiled.

"Wait, I have an idea!" he said triumphantly. Yami looked up again.

"What?"

"You can get married!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Sign here." Said the delivery man. Tea nodded and scribbled down her name. "Thank you." He got in his truck and drove off. Tea sighed and stooped to pick up the crate of cards.

"Excuse me." A voice said. Tea looked up.

"Huh?" a young girl stepped from the shadows.

"Can I interest you in a rare card?" asked the girl, flashing Tea a Blue Eyes White Dragon. Tea gasped.

"Is that real?" she whispered. The girl nodded.

"You go inside and sell it for me, and I'll cut you in on the money. Say… 50/50. Deal?" Tea snatched the card and ran inside.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Guys, look what I just got!" Tea said, running inside. Yugi shook his head.

"Not now Tea. We gotta think of someone Yami can marry so he doesn't get deported." He said. Then a limo pulled up in front of the store.

"I go in first, I gave you the ride!" Kaiba shouted, getting out. Drake pulled him back in.

"The card shop was my idea, I go in!" he said. The two ran inside and stood by the counter.

"Excuse us." Kaiba said. "We were wondering if you've seen anyone trying to sell…" he trailed off as he saw the card in Tea's hand. "THERE!" he shouted, leaping at Tea. Tea screamed as Kaiba knocked her to the ground.

"Kaiba, this is not how I pictured you on top of me!" she wailed. Kaiba froze, his hand on the Blue Eyes,

"Huh?" he asked, stupefied. Then, Drake launched himself and knocked Kaiba aside. The card flew onto the cash register, and Drake grabbed for it. Kaiba grabbed his ankle, and Drake fell face first onto the register. Kaiba then grabbed the back of Drake's head and ran it along the keyboard.

"That card is mine Drake!" he hissed, grinding the dragon user's face harder. Drake pushed Kaiba back, and spit out a few stray keyboard keys.

"It's mine!" he said, shoving Kaiba back. He grabbed the scanner and flashed it in Kaiba's eyes. "Price check on Kaiba's brain!" he shouted. Kaiba stumbled back, blinded. The cash registered beeped and read 'NO SALE'. Kaiba fell back and knocked Tea into a stack of Duel Monster action figures. Yugi and Yami ran to help them up, and Drake ran to the doorway of the shop and snatched the card.

"YES!" he crowed, holding the card up. "It's mine!" he pumped his fist. He grinned and pointed at Kaiba. "Final score, Drake; ONE! Kaiba; ze-EH-roh!" he laughed and strutted into the street. "Oh yeah, oh yeah, uh huh, who rocks? I ROCK!" he cheered, dancing in the street. He spun and stuck his tongue out at Kaiba. "Nothing can defeat Drake Clawfang!" he yelled. Then a car slammed into him, knocking him flying.

Yami, Yugi, Tea and Kaiba watched as Drake went up twenty feet, and came down onto pavement. Up the road, Adam Culp screeched his car to a halt and ran out.

"Oh my god!" he shouted, kneeling by Drake. "I hit someone!" he grabbed Drake's chin and looked him over. "Hey buddy, you okay?" he shouted. He brushed some black hair from his eyes and peered at Drake. His brown eyes narrowed.

"Hey…you look kinda familiar."


	3. NUDITY!

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**I just noticed how abusive I'm being to drake in this! I ran myself over…what does that say about me?**

Chapter 3

NUDITY!

"Owwwwww." Drake moaned. Tea rolled her eyes and pushed the ice pack onto his forehead.

"Keep it there dragon boy." She muttered. Drake was now holding an icepack to his rear and his forehead. Adam was holding another two to his back and neck.

"I'm really, really sorry about…um…" Adam began.

"Running me over?" Drake snorted. "It's ok."

"Really?"

"NO!" Drake snapped. "You sent me flying? Watch where you're driving!"

"Well what were you doing moonwalking in the middle of the street?" Adam protested.

"I was celebrating my getting a…" Drake gasped and jumped to his feet, forgetting his sprained ankle, and fell to the ground. "The card!" Kaiba's eyes widened.

"Quick, guys, we gotta find it!" Yami, Kaiba, Yugi, Tea, and Adam ran out the street, leaving Drake moaning on the store floor. The five looked all over. The card was gone.

"Guys, I'm stuck! I think I broke my ankle!" Drake called.

"No one cares Drake!" Kaiba shot back. Drake growled and pulled himself snail-like onto the street.

"It's not here guys." Adam said, sighing. Kaiba growled.

"It has to be, there's only so much street!" he said. Pulling himself behind him, Drake yanked the belt off of Kaiba's…er, Drake's…the coat Kaiba was wearing, and smacked the CEO in the back on the knee with it. Kaiba howled and jumped up and down. Unfortunately for him, and fortunately for the Kaiba fangirls, jumping in an unbuckled coat causes it to open, and in this case, it revealed the CEO to the wide world. Tea's jaw dropped.

"Um, Kaiba." Yami hissed. Kaiba looked down and screamed, tugging then coat shut. He darted a glare between the five.

"What did you see?" he snapped.

"Not enough." Tea whispered. Kaiba glared at Drake. The duelist rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I'm getting dirty down here. Can someone give me a lift to the hospital, get me a wheelchair or something?" He asked. Adam shrugged.

"Sure." He said, picking up Drake. He pushed him in his car and slammed the door.

"Hey guys." Kaiba said, typing on his laptop. "Look at this." The people left, minus Adam, gave him an odd look.

"Where'd your laptop come from?" Yugi asked. Kaiba thought, and shrugged.

"I dunno. Ask him, he's the author." He said, waving a hand at Adam. "Speaking of which, take a look at this. I found the Blue Eyes." They clustered around the screen, and gasped.

"One of the reviewers took it!" Tea yelled.

"What?" Drake yelled from the car. "I'm gonna kill them!"

"Drake, you can't murder one of the reviewers." Yugi said.

"Why not? I stole their souls in the last two stories."

"Ya know, he has a point there."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the Konami secretary. Sven smiled.

"I'd like to resign my position here." He said. The secretary nodded.

"Alright then, I'm just gonna have to ask a few questions." She said.

"Ok."

"Number 1. What is your reason for quitting? Hostile boss, low wages, bad work ethic, or just don't like it here?"

"Hostile boss." Sven growled.

"Ok. Number 2. What is your full name?"

"Sven Yuggerslauten." He said. The secretary gave him a look.

"Any middle names?" Sven took a breath.

"Sven Hirathdel Flortant Giltarthan Yuggerslauten." **(say THAT ten times fast!)** The secretary wrote down 'Bob Smith'.

"And finally, what career path to you plan to pursue now? Teaching, Engineering, Computer Technology, or World Domination?" Sven's eyes darted around.

"Um…teaching." He said. The secretary nodded and checked off 'World Domination'.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Ah man." Joey muttered, looking at what hair he had left of his hair. "Look at this. What now?" he moaned.

"You come to muh boutique, that's what now!" a voice trilled. Joey turned to see a man dressed in bright pink. At least he thought it was man. He had green eyes and hair down to the floor. It fact, his hair was dyed bright pink like his clothes! In fact, his hair was so long, it WAS his clothes!

"Um, what?" Joey asked. The…person put an arm around Joey's shoulder and led him to a store.

"I am Jack Myers, my good friend. I am the best hair stylist in town, and I'll make that unruly mess shine!" he said. Joey thought as he entered the salon.

"Are you really the best?" he asked. Jack nodded.

"Of course! Just look at our satisfied customers!" Jack pointed behind Joey. On the wall were framed pictures of Vin Diesel and Patrick Stewart. Joey gulped loudly.

"Now come my friend, I will cut, I will snip, I will make you fab-u-lus!" Jack cheered, pushing Joey into a seat. A woman in the seat over was clipping another boy's hair. A streak of grey ran down one eye. Joey frowned.

"Now here we go." Jack said, spreading aq sheet over Joey.

"And we're done Mr. Falk." Said the stylist over. The seat turned and Joey found himself face to face with Daxter Falk. The two opened their mouths and screamed.

"AHHHHH!"

"AHHHHH!" Jack sighed.

"Keep up wit da screamy, and little men will get bloody scalps." He said, picking up a pair of gardening sheers.

- - - - - - - - - -

"We gotta the Blue Eyes before Drake roughs me up even more!" Kaiba complained. Tea nodded.

"Yeah, he really did a number on you." She stood behind Kaiba. "Are you sure you're ok Kaiba? You need anything? Tea? Coffee? Sponge bath?" Kaiba knocked her away.

"In the meantime, you three will help me find it." Kaiba declared.

"And why should we?" Yugi asked. "We have troubles too. We'll need a fortune to fix this place within a week, and I think you should pay for it!" Kaiba stood up.

"Fine then." He left the store.

"Ok guys, think for a minute. We gotta get into our thinking modes."

- - - - -Five Minutes Later, in The Circle- - - - -

"Ok, now we're thinking." Yugi giggled. "So how do we get a lot of money fast?" (camera to Tea)

"I got it! We can have Kaiba do a strip tease!" she yelled. "I'd pay a dollar to see that." (camera to Yami)

"You know. In ancient Egypt…we went around nude all the time." He said, nodding slowly. He then burst out laughing. "It was awesome!" (camera to Tea)

"I could go around nude." She said, thinking aloud. "I bet I'd get better grades in school." (camera to Yami)

"There was this one chick who wore like, paint! It was all there, all the time!" Yami laughed. (camera to Leo)

"Hey dudes." Leo grinned. "I think I'm on the wrong set." He looked at Yami and gasped.

"Holy cow dudes! I'm in an anime!" he laughed.

**If you don't get 'The Circle' joke, watch 'That 70's Show' sometime. You'll get it.**


	4. Girl Talk

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**For those of you that didn't get 'The Circle' joke, The Circle is when everyone sits in a circle and gets high. As for Leo, he's the classic stoner. Long stringy hair, glasses, and he always sounds hung over. He's very funny.**

Chapter 4

Girl Talk

"Are you sure this outfit will find me a wife?" Yami asked suspiciously. Yugi nodded. The ex-spirit was dressed in a white button up silk dress shirt with skin tight blue jeans. **(Yami fangirls, you may commence drooling over Yami's tight jeans.)** For fashion purposes, Yugi had also thrown in the old Millennium Puzzle. Yami had to admit, the Puzzle's weight was a relief. He had become accustomed to having his own body, he had started to forget the feel of his old home.

"Okay, now I have to go on a job search for money to fix up the shop. Yami, you walk around town and flirt." Yugi explained. "Tea, you watch the shop." Tea nodded. "Okay, let's do this!" Yugi shouted, running out. Yami sighed and flashed Tea a thumbs up.

"Wish me luck." He called, running his own way. Tea watched them go and sighed.

"Great, time to myself." She muttered, flopping onto the counter. She sighed dreamily as an image of Seto Kaiba floated over her eyes.

"Hey Tea." Said Mai Valentine, walking into the store. Tea looked up and grinned.

"Mai, thank god, I could really use your help." She said. Mai shrugged.

"Sure, what's up?" Tea fidgeted.

"Well, I've been noticing things lately…things about…Kaiba." She muttered. Mai nodded in understanding.

"Does Tea have a crush?" she asked, not at all teasing. Tea shook her head.

"Oh no. I had a crush on Yugi in fifth grade. I had a crush on Keanu Reeves a few years ago. I _have_ a crush on Yami, but what's going on now with Kaiba is a lot more then a crush." Mai cocked her head.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Tea started to blush.

"Well, lately, when I think about him, I want to…do things." She whispered. Mai smirked.

"Tea, you are growing older, thoughts like that will happen."

"Thoughts will happen, but not these kinds of thoughts." Tea muttered. Mai sighed.

"Tea, when you're as well endowed as me." She started, gesturing to herself. "Men often tell you what kind of things they think about you. I doubt anything you're thinking of is worse then what I've heard."

"You'd be surprised."

"Try me." Mai said. Tea sighed in defeat and beckoned Mai forward.

"Well, here's what my thoughts are like." She said, leaning into Mai's ear and whispering.

"Uh huh…uh huh…." Mai said, bored. Then her eyes shot open. "Oh my god."

- - - - -Five Minutes Later- - - - -

Tea was still whispering in Mai's ear. Mai's jaw hung open, her eyes were wide, and her pupils were dots. Finally, Tea finished and looked away.

"Are those thoughts normal?" she asked sheepishly. Mai cleared her throat and struggled to speak.

"Well…that was…detailed." She squeaked.

"I'll say man." Leo agreed from the stairs. Tea turned to him.

"Leo, why are you still here?"

"That's a good question man." Leo said.

- - - - -Domino Hospital- - - - -

"Here we go." Adam said, carrying Drake into the waiting room. He grabbed a white coat from a laundry hamper and wrapped it around Drake.

"Thank god." Drake muttered. "I was feeling nude without my coat." Adam limped Drake up to the front desk.

"Excuse me." he said. The nurse turned around.

"Yeah." She said, blowing a big pink bubble of bubblegum.

"This bozo ran me over, and I can't walk." Drake growled, elbowing Adam. The nurse looked between them.

"Are you two related?" she asked.

"Why say that?" Drake replied.

"Well you two look alike." Explained the nurse. Drake looked Adam over, and rolled his eyes.

"I don't see a resemblance." The nurse smirked and pointed to a pile of folded up wheelchairs in a corner.

"You can take one of the temporaries for now, but wait an hour or so, and we'll get you a permanent one. Just have a seat." She said. Drake and Adam walked into the waiting room. Adam looked around and noticed a candy machine down the hall.

"I haven't eaten all day." He murmured. "Wait here Drake, I'll be right back." He said, running down the hall. Drake shrugged and laid his head back.

"Excuse me." A voice said. Drake looked up to see another doctor.

"Yes?"

"Are you Drake C.?" the doctor asked. Drake nodded, and the doctor smiled. "Thank god, we really need you right now." The grabbed the handles of Drake's chair and wheeled him down the hall at light speed. Drake looked up as they passed through a set of doors. Drake could swear the sign read 'ER'.

Adam came back, grumbling.

"The display said E9 was Mars bar. How do you confuse Mars with Twix? What kind of vendors are loading these things?" he said, shaking his head. He looked up and frowned. "Drake? Drake?" he asked, looking around. He went up to an old woman. "Excuse me, did you see where the boy that was with me went?" the woman nodded.

"Yes, he went that way." She said, pointing. Adam smiled and ran down the hall. He ran through the doors and looked around. Spotting a wheelchair by a door, he gasped and ran into the room. Inside were a group of men sitting in a circle. Adam tapped a man on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, have you seen a boy in a wheelchair recently?" he asked. The man turned and growled.

"Are you some kind of wise ass?" he hissed. The other people in the room had stopped talking and were staring at them. Adam shook his head.

"No, of course not. Would a face like this lie?" he asked, grinning. The men got up and approached them. The man sneered.

"How would I know?" he asked, brandishing his white cane at Adam. Adam began to sweat.

"Sorry, I must be in the wrong place." He said, running out.

"Oh no, stay." Said the man, tripping Adam with his cane. "You've trespassed on official VVBMU territory."

"VVBMU?" Adam asked.

"The Very Violent Blind Man Union." Said the first man, pulling on a pair of brass knuckles. "Dibs on the crotch." He growled. Adam gulped.

- - - - - - - - - -

"How's it look?" Joey asked, looking at the double Mohawk Jack had given him. The style had two separate Mohawks, coming out of Joey's head at angles. Dax snorted.

"You still look like a mutt." He replied. Joey glared at him in the mirror.

"That means a lot coming from a guy getting a perm." He said. Dax growled.

"You speak a word of this to anyone outside this place, and I'll kill you." He threatened. Joey smiled.

"Sure Dax. Oh hi Mai!" he said. Dax's head popped up.

"Mai?" he popped up, and his head smacked the hairdresser behind him in the chin. She stumbled back and fell into the closet. Jack moaned.

"Oh no you stoopid kids, she was my only employee!" he wailed. Dax shrugged.

"Whatever. Now get over here and finish this so I can get away from the mutt." He told Jack. Jack sighed.

"Alright zen, let's get this over with." He said, picking up a handful of curlers.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I'm getting seasick." Anthony Valentino moaned. Beside him, Ryo Bakura nodded.

"I know. Who's driving this thing anyway?" he said, his face turning green.

"Arrr, quit ye bellyaching, landlubbers!" Cap't Scorpio snarled, marching into the cabin. "This be the S. S. Stingray, and I not be tolerating ye two messin' up me decks, ye hear?" he said. Anthony and Bakura looked at each other.

"What did he say?" Anthony asked. Bakura shrugged.

"Arrr, ye scury smart aleck dogs!" Scorpio growled. "Now ye best be listenin' good, mateys. We be nearin' Duelist Kingdom, home of Maximillion Pegasus himself. This place be a treasure trove of rare cards of his rarest cards, and they all be mine soon!" Scorpio laughed.

"So why do you need us?" Bakura asked. Scorpio rubbed the back his neck sheepishly.

"After me loss to that scurvy swag snatching Yugi, me crew all left me high n' dry. Now ye two be the start of the Stingray's new crew!" Scorpio looked Anthony and Bakura over. "She's seen better men then the likes of ye, but ye'll do for now. Ye two help me grab the cards at this here island, and I'll cut ye in for half the proceeds. What do ye say?" Bakura sighed.

"Fine, just let me out of this cage!" he shouted. Scorpio nodded, and unlocked the doors to the cage. Bakura and Anthony ran out, and Scorpio put a hand on Anthony's shoulder.

"What about ye?" he growled. Anthony gulped.

"What if I refuse?" he asked. Scorpio laughed.

"The sharks be happy to get a fresh meal." He said. Anthony forced a grin.

"I'm all yours boss!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Mr. Pegasus sir." Said Croquet. Pegasus looked up from his Funny Bunny comic.

"Hm?"

"There appears to be a vessel approaching the island." Croquet flipped on the monitor behind Pegasus to reveal a large wooden ship with a black scorpion on the sails. Pegasus turned and frowned.

"That doesn't look like the Pizza Pizza delivery ship." He mused.

"No sir, I think it's pirates." Croquet replied. Pegasus turned back to his comic book and put his feet up on his desk.

"Fine then. Deploy the island defense systems." He ordered. He looked down at his Funny Bunny wristwatch. "And call Pizza Pizza and tell them they've got 10 minutes left!"


	5. Yo Ho Ho, This Be Real Messed Up!

The Most Random Story Ever Told

Chapter 5

Yo Ho Ho. This Be Real Messed Up!

"Arm the cannons!" Scorpio ordered. "Lowers the main sails, prepare for battle!" he said, laughing. Anthony and Bakura had their hands full trying to carry out the captains orders. Then, the ship began to shake. The waters around the ship began to toss and turn. Scorpio snarled.

"What be the meaning of this?" he roared. Then, a giant metal object rose from the sea. It was on a series of hydraulic pedestals deep within Pegasus' castle. It stood 100 feet high. And it bore a remarkable resemblance to…

"Pegasus?" Bakura asked in shock. The 100-foot steel copy of the man opened it's mouth.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" it asked. "To get to the other side! What do you get when you cross Hitler with a farmer? A German Sheperd! What time is it when twenty dogs chase one? 20 after 1!" the three 'pirates' fell to the deck of the S. S. Stingray, clutching their ears in horror.

"We surrender, we surrender!" Scorpio screamed. "Just stop it with the bad jokes!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"I could get used to this." Joey said, walking out of Jack's boutique. He walked down the mall and bumped into an english man.

"Sorry sir." Joey said, looking at him. The man just stared at Joey's hair.

"My god." He whispered. "You've got the Red Sea on your head!" he exclaimed, laughing. Joey gulped and looked up at his hair. "I think I saw that on an episode of 'When Moses Attacks'! My god people." He said, calling for people to come look. "This poor boy has had Moses attack his hair! The jews are lost, they're crossing this boy's scalp!" he said. Joey growled and pushed past him.

"Thanks. He muttered.

- - - - - - - - - -

"We've got an 1-24 with showings of a BD5 and a slight touch LK-09." Said the doctor, wheeling Drake into the ER. "Now we've got him prepped for surgery, we just need to get you cleaned up. Any questions?" he took a disinfectant wipe and cleaned Drake's hands off.

"Yeah. What are we doing, and who are we doing it to?" Drake asked nervously. The man looked at a clipboard.

"Uh….Open heart surgery, Lucifer Taiyoukai." He said. Drake gulped. "But I suppose you're used to this stuff huh?" Drake's mouth fell open.

"What? I don't know how to do open heart surgery!" he exclaimed. The doctor scratched his head.

"Aren't you the legendary doctor Drake Conner?" he asked. Drake quickly shook his head.

"No, I'm Drake Clawfang." He explained. The doctor snorted.

"Sure you are, you really had me going there." He pulled a pair of latex gloves onto Drake. "This way." He said, wheeling Drake into the operating room.

"No, wait!" Drake screamed.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Mr. Pegasus, there were only three men onboard." Croquet said, bringing Scorpio, Bakura, and Anthony before his boss. Pegasus frowned.

"You three are pirates?" he asked. Scorpio snarled.

"We be the most feared men in the seven seas!" he shouted, pulling out his sword. Pegasus rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you are."

"Maximillion Pegasus!" a voice called from the TV. Pegasus turned. On the screen was a large Viking ship in the ocean. On the helm stood Sven.

"Surrender your company or we will take the island by force!" Sven shouted. Pegasus reached for the microphone of the giant Pegasus statue.

"We?" he asked. Sven nodded.

"Meet the most fearsome group of black hearted men to ever team up in one story! Long John Silver, King Henry, Captain Jack Sparrow, Ivan the Terrible, King Author!" he shouted. The five men behind him raised their swords. Pegasus scowled.

"Don't you mean King Arthur?" he asked. Sven rolled his eyes.

"Author, Arthur, it's all the same." He muttered. Captain Jack Sparrow raised his hand.

"Um, excuse me?" he called to Sven. "I'm not a real person." Sven growled and glared at Jack.

"Do you want to get tossed overboard?" he asked. Jack shook his head. "Then shut up." He turned back to the Pegasus statue. "Now sign over ownership of Industrial Illusions to me, or we will attack!" Pegasus smiled.

"I think not. Prepare yourself for the worst jokes mankind has ever known!" he laughed evilly. Sven shook his head.

"Not today! Gentlemen, on the count 5! 1!" the five men put on earmuffs. "2!" they each lifted up a keg of bear. "3!" each man drank down the keg. "4!" the men took deep breaths. "Wait for it…" Sven said, raising his arm. Then he flung his arm down. "5!"

The men leaned forward and let out the five biggest burps in history. The burps traveled underwater and stirred up tidal waves. The giant Pegasus statue groaned and fell over with the force. Everything glass in the castle shattered. Sven raised his arms in triumph.

"The island is ours!" he crowed.

**The english guy that made fun of Joey's hair actually exists. He was my construction teacher last semester. And yes, when a boy with the hair style I described came into the room, he pointed and said he had the Red Sea on his scalp.**


	6. Strike of the Ninja!

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**Hey john, you gave me an idea!**

Chapter 6

Strike of the Ninja!

"I be here first!" Scorpio roared. "This island be mine!"

"I captured you, moron." Pegasus muttered. Sven turned to him.

"How did your gag come out?" he muttered. He picked up the Funny Bunny duct tape and put another strip over Pegasus' mouth. The Industrial Illusions chairman was tied to a chair. The two pirate crews sat on either side on his table. "You were here, but it was my crew that took the island! It belongs to us."

"Look who's 'ere!" Jack Sparrow shouted. He flung his arm around a young man with a Pizza Pizza uniform.

"Um….hi." the delivery boy said.

"Eck ai 'atch!" Pegasus screamed. Sven turned to him.

"Huh?" he asked. Pegasus jerked his head towards his wrist watch. Sven looked down. "Three thirty. When did you call?"

"En 'oo!" Pegasus replied.

"Huh?"

"En 'oo!" Sven ripped the tape of Pegasus' mouth. "Ow! Ten to!" Pegasus screamed.

"Forty minutes. It's free!" Scorpio shouted. The pirates threw up their hands and cheered. Jack put the two boxes on the table and opened them while Long John Silver kicked the delivery boy out the door.

"We've got half meat, half cheese, and half veggie, half deluxe." Jack said. The pirates grabbed for the pizzas. Scorpio grabbed a veggie and looked at Sven.

"What say we eat first?" he suggested. Sven shrugged.

"Sure." He replied. Pegasus tugged at his bonds.

"That's my pizza!" he shouted.

"Shut up." Ivan the Terrible said, shoving a slice of deluxe in Pegasus' mouth.

- - - - - - - - - -

"It's gotta be around somewhere." Kaiba muttered. The CEO was sitting on a park bench, putting up internet ads, looking for the precious Blue Eyes White Dragon.

"Welcome one and all to the first Annual Konami Ninja Showdown!" a voice rang. Kaiba looked up to see a large crowd in front of Konami. He stood up and pushed his way through. In the middle was a circle painted on the ground, with two ninjas in the middle.

"Begin!" the announcer shouted. The ninja in red leapt and flung out her katana. The ninja in black back-flipped and took out his own sword. The two circled each other, and then sliced again. The black ninja fell out of the air and fell face down. The red ninja had won.

"Ladies and gentlemen, our winner, Carol Bluerain!" the announcer declared. The crowd went wild, and Carol took a bow.

"And as the winner Miss Bluerain, you win the prize that your opponent put up for grabs." The announcer said. Carol nodded and took a card from him. Kaiba gasped.

"That's mine!" he shouted, running at Carol. Carol stuck the Blue Eyes in her kimono, looked at Kaiba, and took off running.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Aw man." Joey moaned. "I miss my old hair." He said.

"You look like a weirdo. That hair suits you." Said Dax, sitting down.

"Joey!" a voice called. Joey stood up and cried out as Mai flung her arms around him.

"Mai?" Joey asked in surprise. Dax cleared his throat and fixed his hair.

"Oh Joey, I just had the most horrifying experience!" Mai sobbed.

"What happened?" Joey asked.

"Tea told me her fantasies!"

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"They were sexual."

"That's a little weird."

"And about Kaiba."

"EW!" Joey shouted, jumping back. "Mai!"

"I know!" Mai cried. "And there were…" she shuddered. "Details."

"Look out!" Joey turned and gasped as Carol barreled into him. The two went down in a tangle of limbs. Kaiba gasped and tripped over them, and went flying into a women's clothing store. Dax took a breath and stood up.

"Helloooo. Mai." He said, putting his arm around her. Mai rolled her eyes and stepped away.

"In your dreams Dax."

"Oh, you betcha."


	7. Goblins, Surgeons, and Drag Queens, Oh M...

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**It's occurred to me that some of you may have no clue who Drake, Scorpio, Lucifer, and other OC's are. Well, click on the link to my profile, where's there's bios for all of the big ones. Or better yet, check out my other story 'Tourney of the Apocalypse of the Apocalypse'. They're all there.**

Chapter 7

Goblins, Surgeons, and Drag Queens, Oh My!

"I'm not about to hand over the island to the likes of ye!" Scorpio shouted. Sven smirked.

"Then perhaps you'd like to duel for the rights to Industrial Illusions?" he asked, slipping on a Konami Disk. Scorpio grinned and turned on his disk.

"Alright. You can make the first move." He said. Sven nodded.

"I will. I place one card face down, and a monster in defense mode."

"It be me turn, and I'll summon 'Cliff the Trap Remover' (1200, 1000). Me Dark Scorpion Pirates be unbeatable, ye scurvy dog! Cliff, attack!" the pirate sliced at Sven's card.

"Reveal 'Goblin of Greed' (1000, 1800). Unbeatable?" Sven mocked. Scorpio (7400) growled.

"I'll summon 'Blindly Loyal Goblin' (1800, 1500), and reveal the trap 'Good Goblin Housekeeping', and draw a card. Then I play 'Goblin Fortification' to summon 'Goblin King' (0000, 0000). My newest goblin gets 1000 points for every other fiend in play. Now my goblins, attack!" the three rushed forward, and Scorpio (3800) growled.

"I summon 'Don Zaloog' and activate 'Vessel of the Dark Scorpions' to power him up by 500! And now I play 'Drunken Pirate'!" Don Zaloog stumbled into Goblin King and tried to kiss him. The king screamed in horror and ran away. "Me card returns your strongest monster to your deck. Now Don, attack!" Don slashed apart Blindly Loyal Goblin to bits. Sven (7750) scowled.

"I'm not done yet! I play the ritual card 'Mindless Overeating', and offer my Goblin of Greed and my 'Goblin Attack Force' (2300, 0000) as tributes to summon 'Fearfully Obese Goblin' (2550, 2500)!" a horrifically fat goblin waddled onto the field. He sat down and started digging out food from crevices in his gut, and swallowing them whole. Scorpio grimaced.

"That not be right."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Well, come on." the doctor urged Drake. "Make the incision!" Drake nodded and positioned the scalpel over Lucifer's chest. Lucifer frowned.

"Do you know what you're doing?" he asked. Drake screamed.

"He's awake?" he shouted. "Should we use anesthetic?" the doctor frowned.

"Why do you say that?"

"I saw it on the WB Saturday morning." Drake explained. The doctor rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, the WB doesn't have anything worth watching Saturday morning! Now make the incision!" he yelled. Drake gulped and looked over Lucifer's chest.

"Hope you had a good life." He said. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip.

"Stop right there!" a voice called. Drake jerked his hand back. He wheeled around to look at a middle aged man in a wheelchair. The man was fuming.

"Who are you?" he shouted. The doctor scowled.

"He's Drake Conner." He said. The new man sighed.

"No he's not, _I'm_ Drake Conner!" he insisted. The doctor stared at Drake.

"Then who are you?"

"Drake Clawfang." Drake groaned.

"Well you should have told me that sooner!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Kaiba groaned and poked his head up. He grimaced and pulled a push up bra off his head. The CEO had fallen face first into a bin of lingerie. He looked around the women's store and gasped.

"CLOTHES!" he shouted happily. He got out of the bin and ran through the racks. He grabbed a yellow tube top and a super short blue pleated skirt, followed by a pair of hot pink panties. Kaiba ran into a dressing room and took of Drake's trenchcoat.

"Finally, some real clothes." Kaiba groaned. "They're more feminine then I'd prefer, but I don't care right now." He hung the clothes up on the door. He turned to the mirror, and the door swung open to reveal the store manager.

"I'm sorry sir, this is a women's store." She started. Then she noticed Kaiba was nude, and screamed. Kaiba rolled his eyes.

"Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer!" he snorted. Instantly the air was filled with camera flashes. Kaiba growled.

"Damn you paparazzi!" he shouted, closing the change room door.

- - - - - - - - - -

Outside in the food court, Mokuba had his mouth open. He had just seen his brother nude in a women's store. Mokuba groaned and stumbled into Mai. Mai looked down at him.

"I feel queasy." Mokuba moaned.

"Why?" Mai asked.

"I saw Seto naked."

"That'll do it." Joey muttered. Carol rubbed her chin.

"Was he built better then Joey?" she asked. Mai glared at her.

"What are you doing staring at Joey's chest?" she growled.

"Well it's a nice one!" Carol shot back.

"Stop staring at his chest!"

"Make me!" Carol yelled. Mai snarled and dove. The two rolled on the ground, kicking and screaming. Joey gawked.

"Girls, stop it!" she pleaded. Fez smacked him in the head, and Joey winced. "Why did you that?" he asked. Fez.

"Because you're telling girls to stop fighting you son of a beetch!" he shouted. Joey thought, and leaned back in his chair.

"Good point." He said. Fez held out a brown bag.

"Candy?"

"Sure." Joey said, taking a piece. Then he whistled as Carol tore a rip in Mai's skirt.

**Fez is another character from 'That 70's Show'. Someone once described him as 'The Horny Foreigner. To See Fez, Leo, and others, turn on Fox at 11:30.**


	8. AlterEgo Smackdown

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**John; I'd like to accept an OC, but I can't. might consider it interactive.**

**And now, let's see if I can beat me in a duel!**

Chapter 8

Alter-Ego Smackdown

"Leave it to you to do open heart surgery." Adam grumbled, wheeling Drake out of the hospital.

"Zip it nerdo, just move the chair." Drake shot back. Adam growled and walked in front of him.

"Oh will you stop insulting me! I'm older, smarter, a better duelist…"

"Oh yeah right. I could duel circles around you." Drake snorted. Adam raised an eyebrow and flipped on his Konami Disk.

"Is that a challenge dragon boy?" Adam yelled. Drake turned on his Kaiba Corp Duel Disk.

"Whatever makes you feel better, 'Oh Forbidden One'. You can even go first." Drake chuckled. Adam smiled.

"Fine. I'll play 'Pot of Greed', and draw two cards. Then I'll place three more cards face down, and a monster in defense mode." Drake grinned.

"Let me show you how it's really done. I summon 'Armed Dragon Lv3' (1200, 900), and play 'Level Up', creating 'Armed Dragon Lv5' (2400, 1700). Armed Dragon, attack!" the spiked beast fired its flames.

"Reveal 'Nightmare Penguin' (900, 1800). Let's return that monster to your hand. Then I'll reveal my traps 'Jar of Greed', and draw two more cards. Then I'll place a new monster in defense mode, and end my turn." Drake rolled his eyes.

"Moron. I was wide open, and you play defense? I'll play 'Polymerization' to fuse my 'Lord of Dragons' (1200, 1100) with my 'Divine Dragon Ragnarok' (1500, 1200) to create 'King Dragun' (2400, 1200). Then I'll use his special ability to call forth 'Horus the Black Flame Dragon Lv6! (2300, 1700). You're finished Adam!" Drake laughed. Adam smiled.

"Go ahead and laugh Drake." He whispered. "I just need Exodia's head and left arm, and it's over." He looked at the three Exodia parts in his hand. "You're as good as Obliterated."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Fearfully Obese Goblin, attack Don Zaloog!" Sven ordered. The fat goblin sucked in a breath and belched. Don Zaloog turned green and fell over. Scorpio (3200) growled.

"So that where he came up with that lame brain scheme." He muttered. "I'll place a monster in defense mode, and end my turn."

"Good. Fearfully Obese Goblin, attack!" the goblin let out another burp.

"Reveal 'Yomi Ship'. This monster destroys that fat beast!" the goblin screamed and exploded in a burst of slime. Sven growled.

"It be me move, and I summon 'Meanae the Thorn' (1000, 1800). Meanae, attack!" Meanae lashed her whip at Sven (6250). (And now for her special ability, I'll put another Dark Scorpion Pirate into me hand. It be ye move." Scorpio laughed.

"Fine. I summon 'Goblin Knight' (1900, 1000), and play 'Goblin Thief', which snatches 500 of your Life Points and gives them to me. Now goblin knight, attack!" the knight slashed Meanae to pieces, and Sven (6750) laughed, and Scorpio (2300) growled.

"I place a monster in defense mode, and end my turn." He growled. Sven drew, and laughed.

"Perfect. I sacrifice my goblin knight in order to summon 'Goblin Strike Force' (2400, 2000)! And then I activate the magic cards 'Big Bang Shot' and 'Goblin Sword', which powers him by 900 points! Now my monster, attack!" Goblin Strike Force (3300, 2500) lashed out its sword and sliced 'Dark Scorpion Burglars' (1000, 1000) to pieces. Scorpio (0000) cried out.

"I lost!" he wailed. Sven snorted.

"Industrial Illusions is mine!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"This looks like a good place." Yami muttered, looking at a pair of doors to a club. He opened the doors and slipped inside.

All sorts of men and women in tight leather danced around the room. Yami went to the bar and looked at the bartender.

"Excuse me!" he called. The woman put her cigarette out in a shot glass and raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Maybe you can help me." Yami shouted over the music. "I'm trying to find a wife?" the bartender smirked.

"You're joking, right?" she cackled. Yami shook his head. "Well there is this really sleazy chick that comes in this time of day. She hangs out over there." The bartender pointed to a corner of the bar.

"Thank you." Yami said, running over. He sat down and smiled at the woman sitting in the shadows. "Hi. My name is Yami Atemu. My turn ons include destiny, reincarnation, lucky draws, and the Heart of the Cards. My turn offs include Kaiba, Drake, Darek, and mint chocolate." He said. The woman leaned forward and smirked.

"I'm Kerrigan. My turn ons include you. My turn offs include losing. Now shut up." Yami gulped and nodded.

"So…Kerrigan. Interesting name."

"What did I say?"

"Sorry."

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea walked down the street and gasped. She ran to Yugi on the street corner.

"Yugi?" she asked in shock. The young duelist nodded and sighed. "Why are you dressed up like Dark Magician Girl?" Tea asked. Yugi bent over and showed her a cardboard sign. It read 'Will Dress Up Like Duel Monster For Money'. Tea sighed again.

"Yugi, what were you thinking?" she asked. Yugi groaned and sat down on the curb.

"I know. Roland's doing it for free." Yugi pointed down the street where the Kaiba Corp employee stood in a Gemini Elf costume. Tea held out her hand and pulled Yugi up.

"Yugi, this is no way to make money."

"Well what else can I do?" Yugi asked sadly. "If we can't fix the store before Grandpa gets back…" he shuddered.

"Well come back to the shop and change." Tea said, leading him down the street. "We'll get you into normal clothes, and we'll put our heads together."

"Sounds painful." Yugi muttered. They passed a shop with several TV's on display, and he gasped. "Tea! Look at this!" he stared at the image of Regis Philbin on the screens.

"In our world wide tour, We gave out over 500, 000 thousand dollars in prizes to the people of India!" he announced. "This week we're in Domino Japan! Who will be the next millionaire?" he shouted. Yugi grinned.

"Tea, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked slyly. Tea snapped out of her thoughts of Kaiba in a bikini.

"I doubt it."


	9. Incarnations Everywhere!

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**Again, don't ask about what Kaiba's about to do. I explain it in a different story. And I decided to make Seth a smart-ass. It makes this first scene more funny.**

Chapter 9

Incarnations Everywhere!

"Stupid ninja." Kaiba grumbled. The CEO, now glad in drag, was sitting in the food court, sipping a coffee. Once he had gotten out of the store however, Carol, Mai, and the precious dragon were gone. He was contemplating how to find them. Finally, he sighed and put his coffee down, and remembered what Yami had told him after the Millennium Items had been sealed.

"I can't believe I'm actually considering this." He growled. He sighed, closed his eyes, and concentrated. The image of Seth appeared in his mind.

"So you finally started believing I'm real." The spirit laughed. Kaiba narrowed his mind's eyes.

"I'm not believing anything. I don't know what sort of hocus-pocus mind trick Yugi, Yami, Atemu, or whoever, used to create you, but…"

"Hocus-pocus mind trick, Yugi, Yami, Atemu, whoever," Seth mocked, shaking his head sadly. "Do you ever get tired of listening to yourself? Well I guess if you did, you wouldn't be here, would you?"

"Cut the chit chat. I need to find the Blue Eyes White Dragon." Kaiba snapped. Seth winced and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, that's a tricky one. There are the ones in the Shadow Realm, but the Millennium Items don't work anymore, so…"

"The card versions. The ones that actually exist." Kaiba cut him off.

"I thought you had all three?" Seth asked.

"I have three, but Konami made a fourth one." Kaiba told him.

"Ahhhh. That's why you're so pissed. I thought it was just your normal mood." Seth chuckled. Kaiba glared. "Damn, tell me my reincarnation is not such a humorless hard ass."

"How can I find the card?" Kaiba asked, getting bored.

"The balance of the card game and the Shadow Realm must be upheld. As one of the Chosen Three incarnate, you can sense when the balance is disrupted. Ere go, if the balance _is_ disrupted, you'll sense it. Just follow your instincts, and you'll find the dragon." Seth explained. Kaiba nodded.

"Thanks."

"Oh, and Seto?"

"Yes?"

"Lighten up."

- - - - - - - - - -

"So this is where we audition?" Yugi asked. Tea shrugged.

"I guess so." Yugi ran to the secretary.

"Excuse me, I'd like to register for 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire." He said. The secretary nodded.

"Sure. Fill out a form and wait." Yugi took a form and a pen, and sat down.

"Ok, question one. What is my name? Yugi Muto. Question two. Name all living relatives. Solomon Muto, and…Tea, would you consider Yami a relative?" Tea looked at the question and frowned.

"Would you consider him living?" she pointed out. Yugi sighed.

"They couldn't make this easy."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Alright, I own my own company." Sven mused. He looked at Long John Silver, King Arthur, King Henry, Jack Sparrow, and Ivan the Terrible. "And you three shall be my newest executives. You shall from here on be known at the Big Five!" Scorpio frowned.

"I thought the Big Five worked for Kaiba Corp?" he muttered. Sven rolled his eyes.

"First, they were fired. Second, that's on the show. This is fan fiction, try to keep up." He told Scorpio. "As for you and your…" he looked at Bakura and Anthony. "Crew, you can work for me. Just do as I say." Scorpio nodded.

"Aye, aye. So what be the plan boss?" he laughed.

"Gentlemen, pirates, children, and former CEOs. There are three large gaming corporations in the world right now; Konami, Industrial Illusions, and Kaiba Corp. Which reminds me, we need a new company name. How about…Duel Incorporated?" the pirates cheered the new name. "As the Chairman of Duel Inc, I wish to be unsurpassed in my industrial might. So, my loyal minions, I propose we take over Konami and Kaiba Corp!" Sven shouted.

"Can we get our own condos?" Jack Sparrow asked. Sven shrugged.

"Sure, I suppose." Everyone cheered again. In the corner, Bakura and Anthony huddled.

"If this psycho takes over all three companies, he can buy out Domino! He'll run us out of town!" Bakura hissed. Anthony nodded.

"I know. We need to warn Kaiba and Kazuki. But how?" Bakura grinned.

"When Drake trapped me in the Millennium Glove, he came here to hide out. and he left us something."

"What?"

"Our way out." Bakura stood up. "Excuse me boss, do you have any jet fuel on your ship?" Sven thought.

"I think so. Try looking behind the vegetable crisper."

"Thanks."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Horus the Black Flame Dragon, attack!" Drake yelled. The gleaming dragon fired a jet of purple flame, and 'Sangan' (1000, 600) exploded. Adam smiled.

"Thank you. By sending my monster to the graveyard, you've activate his special ability, letting move a monster from my deck to my hand." Drake rolled his eyes.

"Big deal. King Dragun, Royal Flame attack!" the serpentine dragon roared and scorched Adam (5600). "I end my turn, and level up Horus into his Level 8 mode (3000, 1800)." Adam nodded and drew.

"I place two cards face down, and a new monster in defense. That'll do it." He winced. _Just the head now…_

"I summon 'Dragneer Steed' (1500, 1100)." A small yellow dragon appeared. "And with his special ability, I'll summon 'Dragoneer Rider' (1600, 500). And I'm not done. I'll Union my steer with my rider to create a new monster. Dragoneer Rider, mount your steed and attack!" the knight leapt onto the dragon and rode it into Adam (4000). Adam growled. "In the same turn my steed is mount, he allows my rider to attack you directly. Oh well. Now for some more fun. King Dragun, attack!" Drake ordered.

"Reveal face down card 'Book of Moon'! This will flip your monster face down." Adam yelled. Drake snorted.

"Horus, activate your special ability, and negate his magic!" the dragon fired it's magical flames.

"Reveal my second trap 'Divine Wrath'!" the clouds brewed, and a bolt of lightning struck down Horus. "All I have to do is discard a card, and I can negate his effect and destroy him! So Horus is gone, and your king is face down." Adam shook his head. "Seems like I'm still in this duel." He chuckled. Drake sneered.

"Not for long. Once I'm done with you, I'll see to it that your soul is sealed away forever!" he roared. Adam frowned.

"Um, hello? No Millennium Item, remember?" Drake looked at his naked hand and blushed.

"Sorry, forced habit."


	10. Conquest

The Most Random Story Ever Told

Chapter 10

Conquest

"We're loaded up?" Bakura asked. Anthony nodded and finished pouring the fuel into the Blue Eyes White Jet.

"Yup, we're ready to leave." He said, running up the steps to the cockpit. Bakura closed the jet doors and sat in the pilot's seat. "You know how to fly this thing?" Anthony asked.

"No clue!" Bakura yelled, pulling back on the throttle. The jet shot off. "Now to warn Kazuki!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Yami stumbled out onto the street, holding his black eye.

"Well that didn't so well." He muttered. He groaned and sat down on a bench.

"I'm about to be sent away from all my friends…and Kaiba and Drake. And I can't do anything to stop it." He sighed and held his head.

"There has to be something I can do."

"Hey buddy!" a man called. Yami looked up. "Are you Yami?" Yami nodded, and the man held out his cell phone. "Phone call for ya." Yami shrugged and took the phone.

"Hello?"

"My Pharaoh, I heard of the news. You are to be sent back to Egypt?" Ishizu asked. Yami frowned.

"How did you find me with the Millennium Necklace?" he asked.

"I took a good guess. Come to the museum, I may be able to help you." Ishizu replied. Yami shrugged.

"I've got nothing better to do. So who's trying to take over the world this time?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Now then, choose your decks." Sven ordered. The Big Five nodded and began searching the storeroom for cards.

"Um, Sven?" Scorpio asked. "Bakura and Anthony just escaped the island." Sven rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, like they can do anything." He scoffed.

"Oh yes they can!" Pegasus shouted. "Do you think Kazuki doesn't know what you've done to his business partner? He's probably already on his way here to stop you and free me!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"S-E-R-C-H-H. Search." Kazuki said, writing it down. He pushed up his glasses and frowned. "Number thirteen down. The cow says blank, three letters." He scratched his neck and thought. "That's a tricky one. Hm……..cow. Number fifteen down. Blue Eyes White blank, six letters."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"And welcome to who wants to be a millionaire!" Regis called. "We're coming to you live from Domino Japan, in our world wide tour! And now let's meet our contestants. Let's give a round of applause to Kurama, Goku, Tai, Kagome, Misty, Lan, Yugi, Serena, Spike, Amon, Shobu, and Sakura!" the crowd cheered. "And now let's get started with our fastest finger question."

"Put these four Duel Monsters in order. Dark Magician Girl, Hayabusa Knight, Marie the Fallen One, Mecha dog Marron." Regis stopped and waited while all the contestants punched in their answers. "And now, let's see the correct order. First was Hayabusa Knight, then Marie the Fallen One, then Dark Magician Girl, and finally, Mecha Dog Marron. And the only one who got it right was….Yugi Muto, come on down!" Yugi pumped his fist and ran down to Regis, when Goku stood up.

"That's not fair, you didn't say in order of what!" he protested. Regis sighed and whipped out a remote control with twelve buttons.

"Goku, do I need to consult the judges?" he warned.

"But it's true! What were we listing, level, attack, defense, set, what?" Goku shouted. Regis pushed a button on the remote control, and the floor under Goku's feet fell out. He plummeted.

"What was that for, he was right!" Misty sputtered. "You just said 'put them in order'!"

"Do I really need to consult the judges again?"

"But you didn't give us enough informatiooooooooooon!" Misty's voice turned into a screamed as she fell. Regis looked over the remaining people.

"Anyone else want to complain?" he asked. Everyone shook their heads. "Alright then. Have a seat Yugi." Regis said. Yugi nodded and sat down.

"Thanks Regis, It's good to be here." He said.

"So Yugi, what will you do if you win a million dollars." Regis asked.

"Well, my arch rivals tore up my grandpa's store. And he'll be back in a week, and he'll be pissed if the store is messy. So I'm going to win the money and fix the store so I can keep my genitals." Yugi explained. Regis rolled his eyes.

"Alright alright, I didn't ask for your life story." he muttered


	11. Oh The Confusion!

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**Nunofyorbiz; actually, I was already gonna do that. You're good.**

Chapter 11

Oh The Confusion!

"Mr. Takahashi!" Bakura yelled, running into Kazuki's office. Kazuki put down his crossword puzzle and frowned.

"What is it?" he asked.

"We've just come from Duelist Kingdom. Sven is holding Pegasus hostage, and is planning to take over Kaiba Corp and Konami!" Bakura explained. Kazuki laughed.

"That's absurd, Sven isn't holding anyone hostage, he's right over there." Kazuki pointed to the sofa in his office. A scarecrow with a name tag 'SVEN' around it's neck sat there. Anthony cocked an eyebrow.

"Um, sir, that's not Sven. It's a scarecrow." He explained. Kazuki stood and walked over to the Sven dummy. He poked it in the head, and the head rolled to the floor.

"No wonder he's been so quiet lately." He mused, picking up the head.

"Um….Mr. Takahashi?" Bakura said. Kazuki was busy looking at the suit that the Sven Dummy had on.

"This is a great suit. I've never felt anything this soft, is this cotton?" Kazuki climbed on the back of sofa and looked for the tag.

"Kazuki!" Bakura yelled. Kazuki's head snapped up. "Pegasus? Sven? Hostage, anything ringing a bell?" Kazuki thought for a minute.

"Oh yeah, Pegasus was kidnapped. I'll meet you in the courtyard with a helicopter in five minutes.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Question 1 for 100 dollars. Regis read. "Which of these is not an enemy in the Inuyasha? Kaguya, Kagura, Kagome, Kanna?" Yugi pursed his lip.

"Oh geez…um…give me a minute." He muttered. Behind Regis' head, Kagome was jumping up and down, pointing to herself. Most everyone was trying to figure out what she was doing. Lan, however, was watching the way her miniskirt flipped up when she fell. Yugi grinned.

"I'm gonna say C, Kagome." He told Regis.

"Correct for 100 dollars!" Regis cheered. "Now going for 200. Which of these is not a vegetable? Onion, Apple, Parsley, Joey Wheeler?" Yugi rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, that's easy. Apple, final answer."

"Correct for 200 dollars!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Okay, best five out of nine?" Mai asked, panting. Carol shook her head.

"Mai, if you wanna fight me, you should really consider getting your own sword." She advised, brandishing her katana. Mai rubbed the cuts on her arms and winced.

"No way, I'm fine…" she trailed off as she fainted from blood loss. Joey sighed.

"I'm flattered, really. I've never had two women maim each other over me." He droned. Dax growled.

"Yeah, must be nice." He muttered. He looked down at Mai's unconscious form. "So Joey, think I got a shot with her now?" he asked. Joey grimaced.

"Dax, she's unconscious."

"I know."

"There you are!" Kaiba roared, marching up to Carol. "I want that Blue Eyes, and I want it now!

"I won it fair and square!" Carol shot back. "You can't have it!" Kaiba growled and stopped, toe to toe with her.

"You know, you would be a lot more intimidating with a normal outfit." Joey pointed out.

"Shut up Wheeler." Kaiba snapped. "And as for you, Madame Ninja, hand over the card now. I'm prepared to use force!" Mokuba ran to Kaiba's side.

"Seto, you aren't going to hit a woman, are you?" he asked in disbelief. Kaiba grinned.

"No, I'm not." He reached down, picked up Mokuba, and held him up to Carol. "But you are! Go on Mokuba, sock her!" he urged. Mokuba gulped.

"Seto, what are you doing?"

"You're little and don't know better, the tabloids will let it slide. Now come on!" Carol rolled her eyes.

"I don't have time for this." She ran over to a motorcycle. "I'll pay you 500 bucks for the ride." She told the driver. The driver shrugged.

"Sure." He handed Carol the keys, and she sped off. Kaiba dropped Mokuba and hailed a taxi. He opened the door and jumped in.

"Follow that motorcycle!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Oh, don't feel bad Drake." Adam said, patting him on the shoulder. "It's just one loss."

"But I didn't lose!" Drake cried. "I was winning! I had a full field of dragons! You had nothing! Then you just snapped your fingers, and you won!" Adam sighed.

"Drake, who's the OC?"

"Oh come on, give me a break here."

"Drake, who's the OC?" Adam demanded. Drake rolled his eyes.

"Me."

"And who's the author?"

"Well if you scroll up and look at the pen name…"

"Who's the _real_ author Drake?"

"You." Drake growled.

"Good, I'm the author, and I make the rules here. Now be thankful I didn't turn you into Tea." Adam pointed out. Drake narrowed his eyes.

"You wouldn't dare." He snapped. Adam snapped his fingers, and Drake turned into Tea. Drake/Tea screamed. "This isn't funny!" he/she yelled at Adam. Adam stifled a giggle.

"Actually it is. This is fun, I should write myself into my stories more often!" he laughed. Drake/Tea growled at him.

"Change me back!" he/she demanded. Adam sighed.

"Ok, ok." He raised his hands to snap, and his cell phone rang. "Just a minute Drake." He said, flipping the phone open. Drake/Tea moaned and hung his/her head. Then he/she noticed something.

"Damn…those are kinda big for a teenager."

"Who is it?" Adam asked.

"It's Ishizu. This is Adam, right?"

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

"Are these even real?" Drake/Tea asked from behind him.

"I need you to come to the museum at once. I need your powers as author for a mission of extreme importance." Ishizu urged.

"No prob, I'll be there in a minute." He clicked off the phone and turned around. "Hey Drake, Ishizu…" he stopped as Drake's/Tea's shirt collar snapped back. "Were you just looking down your top?" Adam asked. Drake/Tea gulped.

"No."


	12. Out Of Their Minds

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**Magicman/Smokegirl; 'Kaguya' was the villain in the second Inuyasha movie.**

**Nunofyorbiz; Lan ain't a perv, I just needed someone, and he was the first guy that came to mind.**

Chapter 12

Out Of Their Minds

"Alright, we're here." Adam said, walking into the basement of the Domino museum. Drake-turned-Tea was hot on his heels. Yami and Ishizu were waiting. Yami frowned at Drake-turned-Tea.

"What is Tea doing here?" he asked. Drake-turned-Tea growled.

"Bozo author boy here did it. I'm really Drake." He explained, jerking a thumb at Adam.

"You're Drake?' Yami asked.

"Duh." Drake-turned-Tea snapped. Yami rubbed his temples.

"Adam, why did you turn Drake into Tea?" he moaned. Adam shrugged.

"He was being jerk. Besides, the plot was getting dry." He replied.

"I thought this story didn't have a plot." Ishizu pointed out. Adam rolled his eyes.

"Well there's no one main plot, there's several miniplots that cross paths. Like Yami and Drake." He said.

"Hold on a minute, I just had a thought." Yami muttered.

"Well let me buy you a card to commemorate the moment." Drake-turned-Tea sneered. Yami looked at Adam.

"If Drake is in Tea's body…what happened to Tea?" Adam gasped.

"Oh no."

- - - - - - - - - -

"What did I do to deserve this?" Tea-turned-Drake muttered, walking down the street. "I mean, I'm not perfect, but I don't think anything I've done is enough to earn this." She looked up as Carol nearly ran her over on her motorcycle. Tea-turned-Drake gasped and fell back on her rear.

"Watch it!" Kaiba snapped, leaning his head out the window of his cab. Tea-turned-Drake gaped at him as he passed.

"I love you Kaiba! I want to have your baby" she called out. Kerrigan, emerging from her bar, saw and shivered.

"That's very disturbing."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Now for the 500 dollar question." Regis read. "What is two plus two? 22, 4, 24, 2+2?" Yugi thought.

"Regis…I'd like to ask the audience." He said. Regis nodded.

"Alright, audience, Yugi needs your help. On your keypads, vote…aw, to hell with it, push a button. Go." Yugi and Regis waited while the results were tallied.

"Well Yugi, 49 percent say it's 4, and 36 percent say 22." Regis said. Yugi frowned.

"Well, my first instinct was 24, but I'm going to go with the audience. 4, final answer."

"Correct! Now going for the 1000 dollars. What is my name? Regis, Rejis, Reges, Rigis?" Regis asked. Yugi scratched his chin.  
"Um….oh jeez…I'm gonna say….I'm not really sure…"

"Take your time Yugi, there's no time limit." Regis said. Yugi nodded.

"Ok….just let me think for a minute…" **(honestly, who can see where this is going?)**

- - - - - - - - - -

"Mai, hey Mai?" Joey said, shaking her. "Mai, wake up!" Dax snorted.

"Here's how it's done mutt." He said. He pushed Joey away and slapped Mai. She woke with a start.

"Where am I?" she asked, looking around.

"We're in the hospital." Joey explained. "We got your wounds treated. Mai smiled.

"That's good news." She murmured. Dax smiled and sat down beside her.

"Say, Mai….how about dinner tomorrow?" he asked slyly. Mai shrugged.

"Sure." She said. Dax whooped and jumped up and down.

"YES! Yes! She said yes!" he shouted. He spun and pointed at Joey. "Take THAT, mutt! I got a date with Mai!"

"Dax, she's on a morphine drip!" Joey protested.

"She still said yes!"


	13. Tea, Crumpits, and Cameo Time

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**K peoples, it's crunch time. My exams are this week. Wish me luck, or, I'll hurt you!**

Chapter 13

Tea, Crumpits, and Cameo Time

"You turned Tea into Drake?" Yami yelled. Adam gulped.

"I didn't mean for that to happen!" he pleaded.

"You're the FREAKING AUTHOR!" Yami roared. Adam winced.

"Hey, I can only do so much as author ya know! The rest is up to fate! Do you really think I planned to be beaten up by blind guys?"

"Alright enough!" Ishizu yelled. "Let's get our priorities straight. First, we have to get Drake."

"I'm right here." Drake-turned-Tea said.

"I mean Tea."

"Right here." Adam said.

"I mean TEA-TURNED-DRAKE!" Ishizu shouted. "Then we switch them back, and think of how we can stop Yami's deportation, he's got a week left."

"Actually, he's gonna go by tonight." Adam corrected.

"Huh? Why?" Yami asked.

"Well come on, this has all happened in one day for crying out loud, I can't think up enough ideas to fill up an entire week! These ideas are all stupid as it is! The only good idea I've had recently is having Drake lose Battle City Revisited."

"Hey! I was set to win that match, you made up that Dark Mage of Magic thing so Yami could win!" Drake-turned-Tea complained.

"I made up Demonic Dragon Emperor-Daedelus too! It was only fair that Yami get a made up card too!"

"Fair? You've given me five Millennium Items! How fair is that?'

"Excuse me, Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde?" Yami called. "Focus here for a moment."

"Yeah!" Malik agreed. "I've suffered from this lame-ass BCR Saga too! I don't even exist anymore!" Everyone gave Malik an odd look.

"Then why are you here?" Adam asked suspiciously. Malik broke down and wrapped his arms around Adam's legs, crying.

"You've gotta write me into this story!" he wailed. Adam screamed.

"It's touching me, get it off!" he yelled. Malik sniffed and climbed to his feet.

"I'm out of work, I'm hungry, and I'm cold! I need a part in this thing, even a cameo!"

"What do you think this is?" Drake-turned-Tea muttered.

"Evil psychopath is all I can play!" Malik said. "I'm not a demon, so I can't work on Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. I'm not a saiyan, so I can't work on any of the Dragonball shows. I'm not a woman, so I can't work on Sailor Moon. And I can't use a PET, so I can't work on Megaman! I'm out of work, throw me a bone here!"

"I'm not that good either!" Dartz yelled. "Do I get a part in this? Come on, I can be a psychopath too."

"Hold on here, let's get one thing straight! There's only one psychotic villain in this story, and it's ME!" Drake-turned-Tea shouted. Adam sighed and put an arm around Dartz and Malik.

"Ok guys, I hear your pain." He said, leading them to the door. "I'll think up something, and fit you in here, ok?" he pushed Dartz and Malik out the door, slammed the door shut, and burst out laughing.

"SUCKERS!"

- - - - - - - - -

Carol skidded her cycle to a stop at the Domino Pier and ran down the docks. Kaiba in his taxi sideswiped a crane and drove after her. Kaiba leaned forward.

"Keep driving, don't stop!" he ordered the driver. The driver started to scream. "What's wrong?" Kaiba demanded. He looked forward ands screamed along with his driver. The pier ended at a ramp, and the taxi flew into the air. Kaiba flung open his door and leapt for safety. His arm caught the rail of a low flying helicopter, and Kaiba grabbed on. Kazuki leaned out and frowned.

"Kaiba? What are you doing here?" he asked. Kaiba waved a hand at Kazuki.

"Pull me up!" he pleaded. Kazuki shrugged and pulled Kaiba onto the copter with Bakura and Anthony. Kaiba looked around. "I need you to drop me off at the pier." He said. Kazuki shrugged.

"Sorry, can't. I've got a business partner to save." He said. Kaiba growled and jumped the pilot, and took over the control. He turned the copter around and dove at Carol. The ninja gasped and ran between two warehouses.

"Kaiba, you'll kill us all!" Bakura screamed. Kaiba pushed the throttle, and the copter flew between the warehouses. The blades caught the warehouse walls, the copter jerked to a halt, and Kaiba was sent flying out the window. He hit the ground, rolled, and took out Carol's legs. The Blue Eyes White Dragon went out of her kimono and into the air. Kaiba groaned and watched as it slipped between the crack bordering the wooden dock and the cement, and fell into the water. Kaiba cried out.

"NO!" he wailed. "I need that card!" he said, slamming the ground with his fists. Kazuki cocked an eyebrow.

"Why?" he asked.

"So I could destroy it!" Kaiba explained.

"It just fell in the water."

"It doesn't matter, it's the principal of the thing!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Yugi, it's been fifteen minutes. Just answer the damn question!" Regis growled. Yugi sighed.

"Fine then. Regis, final answer." Yugi said.

"Correct already!" Regis huffed. "Now going for 2000. How many dragonballs are there? Seven, two, nine, who gives a damn?" Yugi pursed his lips and thought.

"I'd like to use my phone a friend." Yugi said. Regis shrugged.

"Sure, who are you calling?"

"My friend Tristan." Yugi replied.

"Alright then, our callers at AT&T will get Tristan on the line." Regis said. The phone rang, and Tristan answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Tristan?"

"Yeah?"

"This is Regis Philbin from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I'm sitting here with Yugi."

"Alright, great! Yugi, you gotta listen man! Joey's gone Mohawk, Tea and Drake have switched bodies, Bakura and Anthony are trying to attack Sven who's holding Pegasus hostage, and…"

"Shut up Tristan." Regis said. "Now Yugi, read Mr. Pointy Hair the question already, and hurt up, you've got 30 seconds."

"Okay, Tristan, how many dragonballs are there? Seven, two, nine, who gives a damn?"

"Nine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, Drake said that dragons have nine balls." Tristan explained. Yugi froze.

"Huh?"

"Apparently all dragons have nine testicles. Now I think that's unfair, humans only get two, what's the deal? But hey, who gives a damn right?" the timer beeped, and Regis sighed.

"He says there are nine dragonballs Yugi." He said. Yugi nodded.

"Well he mentioned B, C, and D. and I know Tristan's stupid, so A, final answer."

"You've just won 2000 dollars!"


	14. An Out of Body Experience

The Most Random Story Ever Told

Chapter 14

An Out of Body Experience

"So if I help you beat Sven and rescue Pegasus, and you'll make me a new card to destroy?" Kaiba asked over the roared of the copter. Kazuki nodded.

"Pegasus is a rather high ranking business partner. Rescue him, and you can destroy all the Blue Eyes White Dragons you want."

"Deal." Kaiba grinned as the copter landed. Kazuki and Kaiba jumped out. Sven, Scorpio, and the Big Five were waiting for them.

"Where's Pegasus?" Kazuki demanded. Sven chuckled.

"The little fruit is fine, Kazuki. I got what I wanted from him."

"What do you mean?" Kazuki demanded.

"I now own Industrial Illusions! Oh, excuse me, _boss_. That's Duel Inc. now. And now I just need to own Konami and Kaiba Corp, and I'll be the most powerful business man in the world."

"Not likely!" Kazuki shouted. "I'll never hand Konami over to you!"

"Then perhaps you'd like to duel for the rights to our companies?" Sven sneered. Kazuki whipped on his Konami Disk.

"You're on Sven! Winner takes all three companies!"

"Hey, you're wagering my company too ya know." Kaiba pointed out. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"NO!" Kazuki and Sven snapped in unison.

"Now Kazuki, there's a few new rules to go over." Sven laughed. "We duel with a new system called the Deck Master system. You choose a monster from your deck to act as a master monster for the entire duel. So go ahead and choose!" Kazuki smiled.

"I know exactly which one I want, Sven. I'll choose 'Gradius Upgrade Plant' (1000, 1000)!" a large steal factory appeared behind Kazuki.

"And Meet my Deck Master 'Big Shield Goblin' (500, 2500)!" Sven's Deck Master looked like Big Shield Gardna, except it's skin was green and covered in warts. "Now you can go first."

"Alright Sven, prepare to feel the full power of the Konami Empire! I'll start by activating the special ability of my Upgrade Plant!" the factory behind Kazuki lit up in a blaze of activity. "Every turn, my factory let's me move one card with 'Gradius' in the name to my hand. Now I'll place this face down, and summon my favorite monster! Come forth 'Gradius' (1200, 800)! And I'll add in this magic card 'Cyclone Laser' to increase his might by 300. That will end my turn." Kazuki's sleek sliver spaceship appeared with a pair of glowing blue lasers hanging under it.

"Good. I'll play 'Pot of Greed', and draw two cards. Then I'll summon 'Goblin Ninja' (1700, 1200) and 'Blindly Loyal Goblin' (1800, 1500). Since I drew my ninja with a card effect, I can summon him right away, and in return, he can't attack this turn. Next, my 'Goblin Fortification' card! Since I have two goblins now, this lets me call on any goblin from my deck. So meet 'Goblin Attack Force' (2300, 0000)! Now my Attack Force, strike down Gradius!" the army of goblin warriors leapt at Gradius.

"Reveal the trap 'Gradius Force Field'!" Kazuki yelled. A blue aura appeared around Gradius, and the goblins bounced off of it. "This trap card activates whenever a card targets Gradius, and protects it from being destroyed by any card effect or in battle for a turn!" Sven growled.

"Then I'll end my turn."

"My move, and I'll place a new card face down, and activate the magic card 'Gradius' Fleet'!" three glowing orange balls hovered around Gradius. "At the cost of 1000 Life Points, this summons four 'Gradius Tokens' as long as the only monster I control is Gradius!" the orange balls morphed into perfect copies of Gradius, complete with stats (1500, 800). "Next the magic card 'Twin Beam'!" the Cyclone Laser under Gradius glowed and split into a pair of forked lasers. "By discarding a card, my Gradius gets another 300 points, as well as the power to attack twice in a turn! Gradius, Twin Cyclone Laser! Destroy Goblin Attack Force and Goblin Ninja!" the Spaceship fired its laser and blasted the monsters. "And thanks to the special ability of Cyclone Laser, Gradius' attack bypasses your attack force and hit you directly!"

-Sven; 7900, Kazuki; 7000-

Sven snickered.

"You never were the thinking type, Kazuki. The special ability of my Big Shield Goblin allows me to negate any battle damage done to my Life Points when you attack a defense monster. Too bad. My turn."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Tea…Drake…whatever, has to be around here somewhere." Yami said, looking around. Adam shrugged and looked at his laptop.

"Well according to the last chapter she was in, she was around here. She can't have gotten too far." He muttered. Yami sighed and whacked Adam in the head.

"This is all your fault." He growled at the author. "You're the one who came up with idea."

"Hey, don't you hit him like that!" Drake-turned-Tea said. Yami and Adam gave him/her an odd look.

"Why are you defending me?" Adam asked. Drake-turned-Tea frowned.

"I'm not sure." He/she muttered.

"Hey Yami!" a voice called. The three turned to see Joey, Dax, and Mai run up to them. At least Joey and Dax ran, Mai was in a wheelchair with a football helmet on her head. Yami looked at Joey's hair and burst out laughing.

"What happened to your hair Joey?" he wheezed. Joey rolled his eyes.

"Blame Drake and Kaiba." He growled. "What are you doing now?"

"Well the author." Yami jerked his thumb at Adam. "Had Drake and Tea switch bodies, so we have to find them and change them back." Joey gasped and grabbed Adam's hands.

"You're the author?" he screamed in Adam's face. "You gotta change my hair back, PLEASE!" he wailed. Drake-turned-Tea smiled.

"Oh come on Joey." He/she said, putting an arm around him. "It's not that bad." This time, everyone except for the loopy Mai gave him/her a look.

"Drake, why are you being so nice?" Yami asked, narrowing his eyes. Drake-turned-Tea gulped.

"I'm really not sure, but I suddenly have this urge to start a ten minute speech on friendship." He/she murmured. Then his/her eyes widened. "Oh my god, I'm starting to _think_ like Tea!" he/she moaned. Joey gasped again.

"Then she's starting to think like you! She's gonna go psycho and take over the world!"

"Well to be fair, I only _tried_ to take over the world, I never actually did, thank you very much Mr. Pharaoh." Drake-turned-Teacorrected, pointing at Yami. Yami blushed and shrugged.

""It's what I do." He grinned sheepishly.

"Maybe this is good." Adam suggested. "If Drake and Tea are thinking like each other, we can anticipate her moves! Drake, think carefully, what's the first thought that pops into your head right now?" Drake-turned-Tea thought.

"Kaiba in a…." he/she screamed in horror, and starting convulsing on the ground. "OHMYGOD!" he/she yelled.

"What's wrong?" Yami shouted. Joey sighed.

"According to Mai, Tea's been having fantasies about Kaiba." He explained. Yami winced and turned green.

"Not even Drake deserves that."

"NO ONE CAN GET THEIR LEGS IN THAT POSITION!"

"Thanks for sharing Drake!"

**Okay, this is a big deal here! The ENTIRE STORY will be dedicated to the reviewer who can tell me why Kazuki's Konami deck uses Gradius!**

**Ya know, it's weird. Yugi's shop in a mess, Joey's hair, Sven's job…it all started from a fight over a card! The only ones here that didn't have problems because of the card are Tea and Yami!**


	15. Final Answer

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**I'm really sad that no one figured out why Kazuki uses Gradius! Well let me spill the beans; Gradius is a video game made by Konami, way back in the days of the Super NES and the black and white Game Boy. That's why Kazuki uses it, it's based on a Konami video game. Cards like Gradius' Option, Twin Beam, Cyclone Laser, and Force Field are power ups in the game. Sorry everybody!**

**Tormented Innocence; I sure am! To date, every Yugioh story I've ever written has had Drake in it, even is it's just a cameo. Except for my Inuyasha-Yugioh crossover, but Drake didn't exist back then.**

**Game and Watch Forever; Well, just to find out, I Googled Kazuki Takahashi. It turns out, ironically enough, that his fav card is Blue Eyes White Dragon, since it's the first card he introduced. Honestly, what are the odds that the one card he likes moist is the one card I can't have his fanfic counterpart have? It also turns out that Kazuki (the real one) is a recluse. He's very reluctant to have his picture taken, or to talk to the press. I guess that way he can walk around like a normal guy, without getting swamped by fans.**

Chapter 15

Final Answer

"Alright Yugi, going for 8000 now." Regis said. "What is the level of the Duel Monsters card 'Des Feral Imp'? 4, 6, 3, 1." Yugi laughed.

"Piece of cake Regis. It's a level 4 monster, final answer." Regis gasped and shook his head.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, that's wrong." He moaned. Yugi's jaw dropped.

"No it's not, I've seen that card before!" he protested. Regis sighed.

"Yugi, do I need to consult the judges?" he asked, pulling out his remote control.

"That's enough!" Lan shouted, standing up. "This entire game is rigged!"

"Sit down!" Regis shouted.

"He's right!" Spike said. "You've given us half answers, half questions, and if we do anything, you 'consult the judges'!"

"Yeah! I've had enough." Kagome growled. Regis sneered, and his finger hovered menacingly over the buttons.

"One more word out of any of you, and I hit every button!" he roared. "The pits underneath your feet contain a pit of darkest horror; badly written fanfics! I push the button, and you'll all be square-dancing in spandex!" he cackled. Yugi leapt and snatched the remote away from Regis. "NO!" Yugi looked remote over. There were twelve white buttons, and one big red button. He looked at Regis and narrowed his eyes.

"What does the red button do?" he asked. Regis gasped.

"No! Don't push that button!" he pleaded. Yugi grinned.

"Let's ask the audience."

"Push the button, push the button!" the audience chanted. Yugi shrugged.

"Sorry." He pushed the red button.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Regis wailed. The stage underneath him gave way, and he plummeted into a badly written fanfic. The contestants cheered as a man in a suit came on stage.

"Are you the one who cast Regis into a terrible fanfic?" he asked Yugi. Yugi nodded, and the man hugged him tightly. "Thank you so much! A few months ago, Regis flipped his lid. He locked up all the judges, and installed a series of dimensional gates to trap anyone he didn't like in other fanfics. But now you've gotten rid of him, and we can all live in peace again."

"Um, thanks and all." Yugi said. "But I have to finish the game and win the money!" the man smiled.

"Say no more! Here!" he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a giant cheque. "Here, a cheque for ten thousand dollars, take it!" Yugi gasped and eagerly took the cheque.

"Thanks! I gotta go find Yami!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"I summon 'Celtic Goblin' (1400, 1200)!" Sven shouted. A goblin in elfin armor jumped onto the field. "Then I'll place a card face down, and end my turn."

"Wonderful. My turn." Kazuki drew, and laughed. "Perfect. I activate the magic card 'Gradius Giga Crusher'!" the five Gradius ships started to glow blue. "As long as I have five or modr card with 'Gradius' in their names on my side of the field, my Gradius Crusher shatters every card on your side of the field!" the five ships fired a series of lasers, and cleared out Sven's field.

"And now Sven, my magic card 'Gradius' Laser'! This card gives all of my Gradius monsters an extra 200 points for each magic card with 'Gradius' in the name on my side of the field! And I count three!" the four Gradius tokens (2100, 1400) and the original Gradius ship (2400, 1400) glowed as each of them gained yet another laser attachment.

"Now Sven, my Gradius ships have a combined force of over 10000 points, more then enough to wipe out your Life Points! Gradius', attack!" the five spaceships powered up. Sven smirked.

"I don't think so Kazuki! A real businessman always has an ace up his sleeve! Scorpio!" he turned to look at the pirate. Scorpio frowned and held up the Ace of Hearts. Sven scowled. "Not a literal ace! Pull out my backup plan!" Scorpio nodded and reached into his uniform. His hand emerged holding a stuffed, light blue dragon. Kaiba gasped.

"Attack me, and Scorpio rips the Blue Eyes White Plushie to shreds!" Sven laughed. Kaiba's eyes started to water.

"You monster!" he sobbed. He grabbed Kazuki by the collar. "Don't you dare attack! I'm not going to lose my precious Bluesy!" he wailed, shaking Kazuki by the shirt. Kazuki growled and peeled Kaiba's hands off of him.

"If I attack now, I'll win the duel. But Kaiba's teddy bea…er, teddy dragon, will be destroyed." Kazuki muttered.

"Ya know, if this was Yami dueling right now." Bakura whispered to Anthony. "There'd be dramatic music and a commercial." Anthony nodded.

"There must be some way to get that dragon away from Scorpio." He said. Then, there was a flash of light, and everyone shielded their eyes.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a voice screamed. Everyone looked on as Regis Philbin fell on top of Scorpio. Scorpio grunted as the precious Blue Eyes White Plushie flew into the air. Kaiba jumped and grabbed the toy.

"BLUESY!" he squealed, hugging the animal tightly. Kazuki smiled at Sven.

"As I was saying…" he said. Sven gulped. "Gradius', attack!" the five ships fired their lasers, and Sven (0000) fell to the ground. He coughed and screamed as Kazuki hauled him up by the throat.

"Now where's Pegasus?" he demanded. Sven sighed.

"He's inside, but…" he trailed off. Kazuki narrowed his eyes.

"But what?"

"Well, we got kinda bored waiting for you, so…we kind of…mentally tortured him to the brink of madness." Sven explained. Kaiba pulled his thumb out of his mouth.

"So basically he's same?"


	16. Let's Get Together And

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**Sorry guys, but I think this will be wrapping up in a few chapters. But hey, it's not done yet! This is the 4th story in the BCR saga. Once Tourney of the Apocalypse and 'Year of the Dragon' are complete, the fifth installment will be up.**

Chapter 16

Let's Get Together And…

"Feel alright!" a voice sang off key. Kazuki and Kaiba winced at the sound and pushed open the doors to Pegasus' office. They were met with a face-full of hot steam. They waved it away and looked for Pegasus.

"Kazuki boy, Kaiba boy! How's it hanging?" Pegasus trilled. The steam cleared to reveal…

Pegasus nude in a Jacuzzi. He was holding a toy microphone and singing into it loudly, splashing his feet around. He saw Kazuki and Kaiba, and stood up, revealing Funny Bunny boxers.

"Howdy there boys, how ya'll doin'?" Pegasus asked in a corny Southern accent. Kazuki and Kaiba looked at each other.

"He seems ok."

"For him at least, yeah."

- - - - - - - - - -

"I never wanted this to happen, I just wanted to have a rare dragon. But then I met Kaiba, and everything went stupid, because this lame brain author here just wanted to exploit cheap humor. Cheap humor is so cheap, it's so nasty, that's why it's called cheap humor. Nothing good is cheap, except for those chewy marshmallow candies you buy for five cents at candy stores. I like those, but gummy worms are my favorite. I wonder what Darek's favorite candy is? Did they have candy in ancient Egypt? Maybe he'd know, but I could always ask Yami. Did they have candy Yami? I bet they did." Drake-turned-Tea yammered. He/she hadn't stopped talking for five minutes. One by one, everyone had tried to listen to him/her. And everyone got the same impression; Tea's thought had driven him/her insane.

"Drake, could you please shut up?" Joey pleaded. Drake-turned-Tea rapidly shook his/her head.

"Oh no, I can't shut up. I have to keep talking, because if I keep talking, then Tea's thoughts aren't heard, and if I don't hear those thoughts, I don't think those thoughts." He/she explained. Adam sighed.

"You don't those thoughts anymore Drake? Fine!" he snapped his fingers, and a baseball bat appeared in his hands. He swung and slammed it into Drake-turned-Tea's head. Drake-turned-Tea fell down and started giggling.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Joey mused. Adam knelt down and picked up Drake-turned-Tea.

"He's dead weight." He groaned, heaving him/her into Mai's chair.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Dax said, shaking his head. "You are not setting him in Mai's lap!" he protested. Adam cocked an eyebrow.

"Do you want to carry him then?" he asked. Dax looked at Drake-turned-Tea.

"Mommy!" Drake-turned-Tea cried, sucking his/her thumb. The other hand came up to Mai's face and started bibbling her lip.

"No thanks." Dax replied.

"Yami!" Yugi cried, running up to them. "I got on a game show and won! We can fix the store!"

"Great. That's one issue resolved." Yami sighed. Yugi looked around him as Drake-turned-Tea hugging Mai.

"How come she never hugs me like that?" he muttered.

"That's Drake. Adam switched their bodies." Yami explained.

"Oh wonderful." Yugi said. "Waiiiiit a minute. So he's the author of this story?" he asked, pointing at Adam. Adam gulped and nodded. "Then YOU'RE the one who made me dress up like Dark Magician Girl!" he snarled and leapt on Adam, pushing him to the ground.

"And you're the one who messed up my hair!" Joey shouted, joining Yugi. One by one, everyone except for Mai and Drake-turned-Tea were pummeling the author. Drake-turned-Tea looked at the fight and giggled.

"Silly man go boom boom." He said.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Are we ready to go?" Kazuki asked. The Big Five had been sent back to their respective places. Regis had been nice enough to build portals for Kazuki and Kaiba, provided they didn't make him get in the Jacuzzi. Now Scorpio, Sven, and Regis were tied up in the back of Kazuki's helicopter. Pegasus was still in his boxer shorts, and still singing.

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and GAY!" he sang. Anthony rolled his eyes.

"You look the part too!" he snapped. Kazuki climbed in the driver's seat.

"Kaiba, let's go, I wanna get back for the next chapter!" Kazuki called. Kaiba shook his head.

"Not until I get my Blue Eyes!" he snapped. Kazuki sighed.

"Fine, here." He said, pulling a card out of his jacket. Kaiba frowned.

"How did you do that?" he asked. Kazuki smirked.

"I'm just an OC, I'm a cameo." He explained. "I have the Millennium Jacket, and can pull anything I want out of it."

"Millennium Jacket?" Kaiba asked. "There's an eighth Millennium Item?"

"I knew it!" a voice yelled. Everyone turned to see Tea-turned-Drake marching up to Kazuki.

"No wonder I couldn't unlock the Seal of the Seven, I needed the eighth item! Hand it over Kazuki!" she/he ordered.

"Drake?" Kaiba asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Finishing my plans!" he said. "No one shall stop me this time!"

"Oh shut up!" Bakura said. "You LOST! You lost twice! You _and_ Darek lost! You're not gonna win, give it up already!" Bakura drew back his fist and punched Tea-turned-Drake in the mouth. Tea-turned-Drake groaned and slumped to the ground. "That's for stealing my soul!"


	17. We're Here, We're, Nevermind

The Most Random Story Ever Told

**One more chapter after this! A little short, but hey, it is the second-to-last chappie!**

Chapter 17

We're Here, We're…Nevermind

"Ok, anyone see Tea?" Yami asked. "And by Tea, I mean Drake." Everyone gave him an odd look.

"So….who are we looking for?" Joey asked. Yami was cut off a helicopter landed a few feet in front of them. The door slid open and Kazuki jumped out.

"Kazuki?" Yugi said. "What are you doing here?" Kazuki frowned and pointed to the side.

"I work he." He explained. Everyone looked to their right and found themselves outside the Konami HQ Tower.

"Huh, what are the odds?" Yami mused. Kazuki shrugged.

"Yeah, really. Could you help my guests out of the copter?" Kazuki asked. Yami nodded and ran to the copter with Yugi and Carol. They looked inside and gasped.

"Scorpio!" Yami shouted.

"Regis!" Yugi yelled.

"Pegasus?" Carol roared.

"MOMMY!" Drake-turned-Tea cried, running his/her tongue over Mai's cheek. Joey raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"Ya know, if that was actually Tea and not just Drake in her body, that would be kinda hot." He muttered. Dax whistled and nodded. Adam gasped and peeked in the copter.

"Tea!" he yelled, pulling Tea-turned-Drake out. He hauled her knocked out body and lat it beside Mai's wheelchair. "Ok, I can change them back, but they both need to be mentally stable."

"That might take a while for Drake." Joey pointed. Adam nodded.

"Yeah, he's still a little crazy from the bat."

"The bat had nothing to do with it." Joey muttered. Adam hefted the bat.

"I hit him in the left side of the head before, so if I hit him in the right side now, it should reverse the effects."

"Are you sure that will work?" Dax asked. Adam shook his head and swung. He hit Drake in the right side and knocked him out of his chair onto Tea-turned-Drake. Tea-turned-Drake grunted, and the two shook their heads.

"Where are we?" they asked in unison. Adam snapped, and with a pop, Drake and Tea were in their own bodies again.

"There's that done. What else before we can end this story" he asked, looking around. Kaiba got out of the copter and smiled.

"I'm good." He said, flashing the Blue Eyes card. Drake saw and gasped.

"MINE!" he shouted, diving at Kaiba. Kaiba ducked and Drake went rolling onto the street. He jumped to his feet and growled. "Give me that ca…" he was cut off by a trunk honking it's horn. Drake looked to the side and screamed as a trunk barreled into him, and kept driving. Adam looked at the others.

"Anyone want to go after him?" he asked.

"NO!" Everyone screamed. Yami gasped.

"My deportation!" he cried. Adam nodded.

"Got a plan. Grab Sven." Yami bit his lip and hauled the man out of Kazuki's copter. "We've only got a single chapter left to resolved everything." Tea sat up and frowned.

"Where does it say that?" she asked.

"Top of the screen." Dax explained. Tea looked up.

"A little short, but hey, it is the second-to-last…oh, so it is." She said.

"Enough talk!" Yami said. "To the museum!" he cried.

"Why there?" Joey asked.

"We need to buy time between chapters, now come on!"


	18. The Randomness Ends

The Most Random Story Ever Told

Chapter 18

The Randomness Ends

Yami and the others raced to the front of Domino Museum. He stopped and put Sven down on the steps.

"Now what?" he asked Adam. Then, a van pulled in front of the museum, and two men in suits got out.

"We're looking for Yami Atemu." They said in unison. Adam grinned and slammed Sven in the head with his baseball bat.

"Right here." He said. The two nodded and threw Sven in the truck and drove of. "So, who else has a problem we need to work out?" Joey's pointed at his head.

"Yeah, ya need to fix my hair." He said. Adam rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, it'll grow back in time for 'Battle City Revisited-Waking the Dragons'." He told Joey. Joey shrugged and sat down.

"I'm still having thoughts about Kaiba!" Tea wailed, draping herself over the duelist in question. "I mean, look at him!" she said, pinching his cheeks and shaking his head. "What woman wouldn't want him?"

"Get this thing off of me." Kaiba growled. Adam grinned.

"I know how to fix this Tea." He said. "Look at Dax for a moment." Tea stood and looked at him. Adam snapped his fingers, and Dax's clothes vanished.

"AH!" Tea screamed, looking away. Dax gulped and covered himself. Adam snapped again, and his clothes reappeared.

"If you can get aroused after that, consider yourself lucky." Adam said. "Anyone else have a problem?" Everyone shook his or her head. "Then I hereby declare this story officially…"

"JUST A MINUTE!" A voice screamed. Everyone groaned and looked down the street as Drake stomped up to them. He had a big black tire mark running over his clothes and face.

"I want that Blue Eyes!" he shouted, coming to a stop. Yami rolled his eyes.

"Drake, we're tired, and we want to go home. Just let it go, we've all suffered enough."

"Oh no oh no oh no!" Drake snapped, shaking his head. "I've suffered way more then any of you! I've been trampled by fangirls, had a fight with Kaiba, been run over by the author, was forced to perform surgery, got cheated out of a duel, and got turned into Tea. And FYI, Gardner!" he said, pointing at her. "Yami, Yugi, Adam and I all saw Kaiba nude too, and he is NOT that big!" Tea blushed.

"I'll remember that." She muttered.

"Then I get her stupid fantasies, which are _very_ misleading, I get dragged all over town, then, to wrap it all up, I get run over AGAIN! And now you're going to end the story? I don't think so, not until I get that card! So GIMME!" he dove at Kaiba, and the two promptly started rolling on the ground.

"This is getting old." Yugi said. Then, the Blue Eyes flew into the air and got stuck in Yami's hair.

"Oh shit." The pharaoh muttered, as Kaiba and Drake pushed him to the ground. They grabbed at the card and ran across the street to get it. Yami held a few clumped of his hair and looked up at his friends. "Any suggestions?" Joey nodded.

"Yeah, don't talk to Jack Meyers." Yami nodded and everyone looked up as a tanker truck slammed into Kaiba and Drake.

**The End**


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